Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Birthday Confession


They say life's short..that it takes the entire lifetime for a person to understand what exactly life is! But I gotta be honest,I feel that I live equivalent to a lifetime during the 365 days that split the extra candle on my birthday cake. And my 23rd was no different. Don't know if it's good or bad , but when I close my eyes, I can actually see each of the billion moments that I have 'touched' and felt in these 12 months. There's been up and downs surely..sometimes I wished if I could go back and change it , sometimes I wished to relive the happy moments again..and sometimes I wished some things didn't happen at all...I am a lot of things and nostalgic is definitely one of them.Letting go isn't in my arsenal,which has both its pros and cons i guess. Going down the memory lane , especially the last few months, there are so so many things that could have gone either way...should've gone the other way but they didn't. I guess that was payback for the awesome first half of my 23rd , completing the circle of life : you'll be dealt with all kind of hands,but it's up to you to make sure the 'House' doesn't always win! 
But to be honest , I couldn't have done it without the support and unconditional love of my family and friends. We might not talk , we might not look at each other but I know in my heart , you are there for me and I hope you know the feeling is mutual : Always and Forever!
The number 23 is here ,having made it's impression on the birthday cake to say the least..And so ends my 23rd life.
I close this chapter of my life and sign off the book as 'to-be-continued' ..and I hope to start a new life..a new book wherein the first drop of ink impresses upon all the positives ,happiness and sense of true life,from my past, upon the pages..and it will continue till the last page,that's for sure..A new life awaits me ..a new beginning..a new challenge...a surreal journey..and a happy ending!

Looking ahead to my 24th on Earth and the 1st ,of hopefully many, in my mind :) :)

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Diary - Excerpts no. ?....i have lost count

Dear future me,

Yesterday it happened again. I really wanted to clear things out with her.. I waved Hi at her and she didnt even say anything back. Why is this happening..all of a sudden , the entire world has crashed down on me and i am unable to breathe.. For 4 hrs,we were in the same classroom attending SM-2 lectures and she didnt even notice me...or rather she didnt even care to notice..I had been nothing but a great friend to her , or atleast i tried to be...Being there for her no matter what because i thought she was my white knight...a true friend..Seeing her now , with this get lost attitude towards me , is simply killing me from the inside slowly..I really wish that i could go back and not let this happen again but to be honest , i wouldnt even know what to change..All i can ask for ,is yhings to be normal again...
I hope you are happy and feeling alive..Just a lil hope that things will be alryt is keeping me going , and i hope i am not wrong in holding on to this hope...