Monday, September 23, 2013

So What Happened!!

#3

There was a guy who didn't know what had actually happened in the past few months. How his life turned around beginning April and continuing till life time , or so he thinks! It began so good and ended as the worst nightmare. The month of April was all good , nothing could go wrong. He was in contact with everyone..almost.. His internship was going great , his life was going great and he was ..you know...happy!
He suffered minor setbacks ..like an accident ..a little serious one... It made him realize that he's gotta be more careful in his life and how much his friends meant to him and considered him a good friend. That helped him in the recovery and he got over it in a matter of weeks..But that's not what changed things!
To be honest , he really doesn't know what changed..why it changed..why it can't be back to normal..whether it will be back to normal... But that's all questions..What are the answers? What did actually happen.. So lets see the events that happened and see if it makes more sense now..because they say you can connect the dots looking backwards but not forward..!
Month of May - Things start to change.. well he guessed that happens when people get busy ..with internships and all.. Friendship is much stronger than that , right?!! He feels that same desolation that he felt some time back..but he chose to forget it .. But nothing big happened in May apart from a cool Goa trip with friends and family .. Friends whom he met after a long time.. A wonderful moment ..
In comes June and the first shock.. One of his closest friend has left the world ... A pure angel.Too good to be true.Life's unfair. He feels that he have lost a part of his soul..
He doesn't know how to deal with it .. It's not fair..He is looking for some comfort but doesn't wanna bother anyone. It's not their burden to bear , he feels. Still he has his white knight and tier As with him. Slowly , he begins to fade away from the world but kept clenching onto the hope that he will get over it. As if he knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel and all his friends were waiting for him there. All he had to ,was crawl through the dark tunnel and fill this black hole inside him which was slowly sucking all his happiness. But nevertheless , he carried on with his normal self . Summer Internship Presentations. His. His Friends. Everything seemed normal. Then started the second year and nothing was same now.

He felt completely left out  from the group. No one would actually notice his existence. No talks. No Hi. No Byeees..Nothing! Just complete ignorance of his presence.
"WTF is happening " is all he could think about for hours.days.weeks.even months. He was completely unaware of what he had done wrong, to deserve such treatment. Afterall , all he ever wanted and did was, to be there for people whenever they needed him and enjoy as much as anyone else in their company.
First few weeks were of Denial. "This cannot be happening !!" . His other friend(s) told him that it is very much happening and he should get over it. But this ignorant guy just wouldn't accept this. Why would he?. It was completely out of the blue and a big a shock as any. No white Knight. No tier A. No anything.
Just completely alone. Incomplete. Being sensitive , sometimes salt and liquid blended at the corner of his eyes. But he kept going strong, hoping that one day it will all be alright.
Three months passed. Nothing went normal. He felt that he was left out in the cold night , stripped off of all the protective gear and thrown down the cliff - He didn't know the way back. He didn't even know if there was  a way back.
There were times when he could notice a sense of original attachment with some of his friends and all other times were of hostility and retribution. So in four months , he went from a king to pauper because..why?!..He didn't know!
So when enough is enough , he thought to himself. He always thought it was worth fighting for..that ..he would never give up on them...afterall , they were his 'friends'!! He kept trying.. but it was like trying to contact an Alien..only that he was the Alien here!
Then one day , he thought , that it's too selfish of him to think that he deserved their company. " They must be deserving better than me " ," whatever happens , happens for the best" were the thoughts ringing in his mind like a payphone. " I must respect them enough to let them choose who they wanna be friends with...They dont want  me in their life..So be it! " . If there were a third person present , he could've noticed all the agony , all the pain .. But this guy didn't talk to them for weeks then. It was betrayal in the cloak of desolation for him. He kept on going ..till he finds some solace,he will keep on going!!

My name is Aman and this is my story!